Hi my name is Schneur and I am a proud survivor of sexual abuse.
I grew up and came from a very religious Chabad home . I had a very tough childhood and left my home when I was 13. I befriended Rabbi Yaakov Bryski from Chanoch Le'naar, who at the time was kind enough to take me into his home, help get me a part time job, give me money for cigarettes and get me into a school. All this while I was running away from home and thought I hated my parents. Little did I know at that time that Rabbi Bryski was about to take advantage of me, a young boy and vulnerable, who did not know his place in life- all to satisfy a sickness and crime we all now know as, child molestation.
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RABBI YAAKOV BRYSKI
DEAN OF CHANOCH LENAAR |
Rabbi Bryski put me up in his house and a short time after I moved in, started coming down at nights to the basement, where I slept, and would wake me up with his pajamas on and his hands down my pants. It was the most painful thing I have ever had to deal with - ever. It still haunts me till this day. He carried this out for nearly 8 months and it got worse and worse. I will always remember how it came to a point where I couldn't fall asleep at night because I was scared and hoped he just wouldn't come. I felt so helpless and who could I turn to? I was just a frozen child, wounded and scarred. I recall Rabbi Bryski at a later time, one time, crying if he should stop. I was screaming inside “please!” but just was too hurt and frozen to speak. No one in this world will ever understand that feeling unless they are a victim, themselves.
I have felt ashamed and embarrassed my whole life, thinking all these crazy thoughts and feeling so embarrassed that I allowed another man to touch me and violate me. I now know it isn't my fault. There are so many out there doing this to young innocent kids and getting away with it and destroying people lives. I believe myself to be a miracle where I have had the courage and self will to come forward and deal with this as much and as best as I can.
Thank G-d, an opportunity came up where I was able to get out of Rabbi Bryski's house and did so and never looked back.
I always thought I would just never tell anyone. I used to walk around in shame for so many years. I can't even recall how many countless times I would see Rabbi Bryski walking in the streets and I would turn red and get so uncomfortable and walk away, hoping he wouldn't see me. I remember once when I was at a BBQ and he passed by and was talking to some people there. I pretended to be on my phone just so I could avoid him.
What was done to me is so horrible and no child should ever have this done to them. Thank G-d, one day I couldn't take it anymore and decided I had to get it out. I told my parents who couldn't believe it and who couldn't even believe it for months. Fortunately I now have their full support.
I started seeking therapy for quite some time, at which I decided to report the incidents to the Brooklyn District Attorney, as I was still within the statute of limitations for this crime against me. I met a number of times with the DA's office, and took the courage to come forward, The DA, however did not feel that the case was strong enough to get a conviction. (prosecutors for some reason want at least two cases to begin a investigation) and did not proceed to prosecute. It made me so angry, but it fit in to how society does not do enough to prosecute these criminal molesters who destroy innocent peoples lives. Had I had the courage that I have now, I would have gone to the ends of the world to push the DA on behalf all the other innocent people out there and protect them from beasts like Rabbi Yaakov Bryski.
I continued on living my life and doing what I felt at the time was the best way to answer this terrible trauma: living life the best way possible.
Now, you might ask why I have decided to come forward now after all this time. Quite honestly, it was Leiby Kletzky's brutal murder. I wasn't able to sleep for nights after what happened, knowing "silence" may be the sole reason that young boy is not among the living. He was abducted to be molested, and all of us know it. Yet it was kept silent and I ask myself how could we, how could I?
I stand before the world and say to you all now that both I am alive and not ashamed of what happened. I am finally starting to enjoy life, feeling a sense of freedom I never felt then, but most importantly I'm sharing this with you all because I want to give HOPE to all you victims out there.
Don't be silent and don't protect the people that have tried to destroy you.
We are stronger, we will outlive them. I know very well the feeling of being ashamed and uncomfortable, especially coming from a religious Chabad home. It sickens me to my core how, even leaders of my community as well as local state and federal entities, attempt to cover all this up, mostly because of money. Do we protect murderers and rapists? Why are we protecting molesters, who hurt young children? In my mind, this is even worse than murder.
I hope I can give courage and inspiration to even one, if not millions of children out there, even those who are now adults, to come forward and take the fight to punish the perpetrators and those people that cover up their horrible crimes. Edmund Burke, the Irish Statesman once said “All that is necessary for Evil to triumph, is for good men to do nothing”. I urge you to act and break the silence.
Maybe my words and my coming forward will make a difference.
From the bottom of my heart,
with love for hashem.
